Why are bad words "bad"?

0:00What makes cuss words so bad? You know, who gets to say that profanity is such a bad thing? Who decides? Who says what words gets to be offensive? And it obviously is something that changes. And throughout time, words start to form new meanings. We even start to create new phrases or words that are meant to be offensive, I guess. Or maybe they even start in a different origin and they evolve into something that just makes people want to say, "Don't say that. Don't say that word in church. Don't say that around your family. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? What makes words bad?

0:59I mean, I remember uh I remember when I was growing up, I was in school one time and I didn't get in trouble, but the teacher had said something to me because it was it was math class. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I was just like, "This sucks." I said it out loud like you know where other people could hear me or whatever. And the teacher immediately had like a violent reaction to it like don't say that. That's a bad word. I just remember think it sucks to the point where I brought it up to to friends later and was just like it's weird, right? Like sucks. Maybe uh you need to get your mind out the gutter if sucks is a bad word for you.

1:57And what's so bad about it anyways if your mind is in the gutter? It's um nice feeling and I guess uh it's a it's a good way to to show you love. If you know your your partner is so inclined, you know, who am I to say it's a bad thing? sucks. It's just a word, man. What? It sucks. My word. This is very troublesome. Eat Gad. I do not like this lesson. We We decide. We get We get to decide what words mean what. We get to decide if we even get offended by a word. Maybe a word is just a word. And if it's something that is supposed to be extreme instead of looking at it like you could look at it more like, "Wow, this person truly means that."

2:58And maybe maybe that just breeds generations that they they lean towards the dramatic side and they everything is a big deal. And I guess in a way you could argue that that's what's happened in modern times. I mean, you uh you can get away with a lot of things that you couldn't before. Think about the amount of cuss words that are on television and movies and on in music and all of these things would have been blasphemous. How could you? We're all going to hell for even listening to to such a word. I uh I guess I even I even understand it if it if it's used to you like an insult like you son of a then the you call my mama what call my mama a So, you know, you could you could you could take the offensive part like, you know, like you trying to come at me, I guess,

4:19If you again want to be triggered by somebody just saying words at you, just making noises with their face. And I guess that's all right. But at least then you're not you're not triggered by the cuss word itself. You're more triggered by the insult. You know what I mean? Like you could be like, "You son of a fat lady." You know what I'm saying? Like those aren't fat isn't a bad word. You know what I mean? So you don't have to say quote unquote cuss words to insult somebody. And they could still probably take offense to that same exact thing. They probably would, right? But if you if you're just like saying a word and that triggers somebody or you get triggered by by somebody saying a word, you really got to reflect like, damn, how how vulnerable am I am I letting myself be?

5:24I'm letting myself be mighty vulnerable where just a Again, a noise that we make with our mouths can can just take me out, make me feel like I'm I'm I'm struck by lightning or paralyzed or some crazy And the fact that you see something is explicit. It's like, oh, I only like clean humor. I only like clean music. We don't listen to that devil stuff. I don't know why I keep making making it religious cuz it's not just religious people, you know? It's uh it's people that are still just like, you know what I mean? Like h got their nose up. I don't maybe I shouldn't even judge. Maybe I shouldn't judge because it's really just a product of how you were raised and how you have decided I mean not even decided cuz it's like you know do you really even have a choice how it how it just so happened to be how you see the world your perception the way that you see what's right and wrong and what's wrong is using these words that obviously are vulgar.

6:45Obviously, you can say any other word. You know how many words there are in whatever language that you decide, you know, that you choose to speak in. You don't have to you don't have to use these words. And you know, somebody might might ask, you know, where where did this come from? Who decided who was that first person that said this is a bad word? This is offensive. But especially when it's something that wasn't even originally an offensive word, when it gets twisted into something else, like being a female dog. So calling somebody a is I mean you dog. I don't you you dog. What? I don't I don't even know even if it's like a guy like bro you're a like you female dog. No, it got it got changed. Like I I'll tell myself sometimes when I'm, you know, I don't I don't want to do something that I know I should and I want to quit or or some like that.

7:45You know what I mean? Like you're being a right now. Like stop being a Like like just get over it. And I don't I don't crumble under pressure because this is some sort of negative selft talk, you know. No, this is this is actually more of a motivation. And I could see when it comes from a third party, somebody that was like, "Bro, what the you just said?" But again, that's more looking at it from an insult lens. You know what I mean? Don't I'm trying to I'm trying to think of Man, don't be weak. weak. You know, weak isn't a isn't a a bad word. You might have negative connotations around the word, but weak itself is not a bad word, but it might get that same type of reaction from somebody that be like, "Don't be a Don't be weak.

8:49Don't be a pussy." What? It's just we let these things bother us. And maybe it's because maybe it's because we're not being chased by tigers and wolves and lions and bears. Oh my. We have basically gotten to the point where all of the predators that you would find in the wild aren't a problem. All of the natural stresses that we may have had as a primitive species first starting out, it's kind of gone away. You have some crazy fringe accidents that happen and you go into the woods and get lost or some You may actually end up getting eaten by a wild animal, but you stick to your lane.

9:48You stay in the city or you know what you're doing and all of that good You are more than likely going to be okay. You're not going to be hunted by a pack of wolves and as you're walking through Central Park. You're you're going to be good. I think I think we need we need that balance in us. If things are too okay, we still have that inclination to look around like something's off though. I'm still waiting for the other other shoe to drop. You feel me? There's there's something out there that is going to catch me off guard and I can't be off guard. And if I can't find that thing and if I'm waiting here forever, I'm going to find a thing that just doesn't make me feel good. Now, this is something that I'm actually going to put my focus on to I don't I don't feel good.

10:47What you just said? I don't like it. Like, I would prefer for life to be a a different way where you say the words where I want you to say and when you don't say those words, I don't like it. This is my tiger. This is my pack of wolves. This is the thing that I can either run away from or I can fight. And you got the people that saying bad words. We're we're just going to we're going to go over here saying that profanity. And then you got the people, do you mind? Don't say that. And I guess I kind of get it if you got kids. But now that I have kids, I've really done a lot of self-reflection. It's just like, but why aren't we just aren't we just continuing this cycle? Aren't we just perpetuating the the same problem that I'm sitting here talking about right now? I think maybe it might be a little bit healthy for me to say, "Hey kids, these are just words.

11:49These are just different sounds that we make from the holes on our faces. to express how we feel. And then the same word, this is how much words don't matter. The same word just said differently can show a different expression of emotion because you know we made up this whole language thing. So we get to decide. But if somebody says they might be upset. something might have caught him off guard. You might want to look just to make sure. But it's a lot different if somebody says, "Oh, God damn. Fuck." Something like happened, I guess.

12:47Like that's pretty good. It's like the opposite. I don't know. That's uh it's like if you if you've ever if you've ever been like mad at your dog or something like that and they just they just in the house or something and after that you clean it up and then you just look at them like I swear to God if you if you in the house one more time I'm going to lose my mind and they're just like wagging their tail and they're good cuz words don't really matter. They're picking up on the vibes and that's how we're designed to take in the different sounds and vibes that we we put out to. We just we found a way to be a little bit more descriptive because of our intellect. And it's not like we're the only animals that communicate, you know? We're finding animals with accents and like that.

13:45That's that's wild. They have accents. We're not that different. It's not that deep. We're just trying to express the way that we feel. So, if somebody's yelling at you and insulting you, honestly, it doesn't matter if there's a cuss word or not, if there's any bad words in there or not. And I think it's just it's confusing because again when you when you grow up you're just like what's a what's a bad word? I just said sucks and my teacher just spazzed out like I I just told her to suck me like goddamn I'm sorry I was like like 12 years old or some like you know what I mean? Like like what you're telling you're telling a 12-year-old that sucks is a bad word. That's just what what do they be saying?

14:41That's just misinformation. That's just not true. So when I get a straw, what am I supposed to do with that You know what I mean? Like how how how is it a bad word? And it's just confusing. It's confusing. And my kids brought me in. Uh it was like a month ago. Brought me in. And dad come in where they're playing. He just said a bad word. Just looks down. It's like what what what word did you say? The C word. Where the did he hear that? The C word.

15:38Like I can't believe it. There's There's no way. Um what's the C word? It's It's okay. It's okay. And again, I've been telling my kids these are just words. So it's like this is just them going to school and like words again just indoctrination to these whole the whole bad word mythology. It's okay. You're not going to get in trouble. You can say it. Just tell me what the word is. What's the c word? Crap. What you saying? Crap. I said, "That's not a bad word." It's not. I was like, "I mean, it means like poop or like like if if something bad happens like oh crap or oh shoot or oh And then when I said oh they're just like I was like they're just words.

16:42They're just words. And and I get it. You don't want kids walking around being like, "Fuck you. this. this school, you dumbass mother." You know what I mean? You don't want kids going crazy. But I think I think I think I think a part of the reason might be because we call them bad words. If you tell a kid, "Don't go in that room over there." Better not do it. I'll know if you do it. You better not do it. Why not? Don't worry about it. Just don't do it. Don't do it. How many of those kids are going to go over to that room, you know, first they're going to eye that They're going to look at it. They're going to contemplate. They're going to start plotting. They're going to start thinking about what the is in that room? What could it be? What's so mysterious that I can't go in there?

17:42I can go everywhere else in this Why can't I go in that room? What's in there? I'm going find out how many kids are going to avoid the room. Well, I guess it depends on their personality, but I would say the majority of them, they're going to at least look over. They're going to be curious, and a lot of them are probably going to try at least try to go into the room. They're going to look. They're going to look. You could have said nothing. And then they never would even thought of that room. What room? There's a room there. I don't even know. My toys are over there. The TV's right there. I'm not even I'm What? What room? As soon as you said don't go in that room, I'm thinking that room. I didn't even hear the don't. I'm just a kid. Don't go in that room. That room. What is in that room? Someone don't go in that room.

18:41Don't say these words. Don't say that bad word. Why? They're bad. And God will know. God will know if you say these bad words. So, of course, you see or I guess hear kids going buck wild with cussing and like that. It don't even be making sense. Like, you goddamn son of a eater. I don't even know. He's just like saying random words, just smashing them together. They don't know how to cuss yet. And it's a lot. It's always a lot. Like, hey, Hey, you. You. you, And it's a lot of For some, depends, I guess, on your ethnicity. And then I guess for others, it don't.

19:40You know what I mean? Like even if you are a white west when you're behind closed doors or with only the white friends or you know what I mean you're you're with somebody that you think is going to cosign it you know and it it makes me think of that too where it's like why why does it matter and this is coming from somebody where it's like I actually do have a reaction to white people saying it and I I just can't help but think why is this that same programming that we were talking about? Am I being a hypocrite? Am I contradicting the same thing that I was just talking about? What is happening? Why does it matter? And you know, you could look at all of the historical facts of where it comes from and you know what I mean? like why why we even called that in the first place and how we we started talking talking to our own kind is the same man it just gets to a certain point where it's just like is this the reason is this the reason is this the reason is this the reason and I've been called with a hard R I've

21:02Been called a a mut and like that. I've been called a mut. I remember being called a mut when I was when I was younger. Talking about bad words. It's all about intentions. You could you could you could feel some type of way about the intentions of somebody, but is it is it the word? Is it really the word? You could even think about like, damn, they decided to use that word as a description, as the thing to use. That's the way that they see it. And again, these are these are just noises that we're making to better identify the way that we feel. And to hear the way that somebody defines the hatred that they feel, that might that might hurt to hear. You know what I mean? I remember again just I think I was like 12. I was like 12, 13. I was in like middle school talking to a girl and then I heard her mom asking who she was on the phone with.

21:58She said my name and I heard her say, "I don't want you talking to that much." I was just like, first of all, how the that know what I look like? That's crazy. That's weird. Showing pictures or something. But damn, a mut. Okay. Is Is that a bad word? Mut. What kind of dog you got? Oh, I got a mut, man. He's a little bit of everything. I don't know. So, it's like, damn. Compare me to like what we define like a mixed breed of dogs. Oh, okay. It didn't take it didn't take a bad word. So again, it makes me just it makes me at least reflect on it, at least think about it, like, okay, you have a reaction that way whenever a a white person says not even hard r, but if you hear them say it, period.

23:10It could even be in a friendly way. The way that I this how I hear you say it, but we can say it. Again, it's just we could we could we could use the the history lesson and use that as as a reasoning. And again, this is being being 100% real. Is it is it one of those where it's like a tribalistic thing where we could just say like haha I can you can't us and them like is that what what is what is it? Because you could say, "Okay, I don't I don't want I don't like obviously if if someone's being racist towards me." Okay, but if it's and they say it the same way and like it's your friend or you're listening to a song and they're just singing along, is it is it the same thing?

24:05Are they being racist? And yet it's I mean it's still basically instilled. And most people to you know if comes in on the song that's when all the white people in the crowd stop singing on that part and then they continue. For the most part, most people won't say most white people won't say around a black person now. It's not like people say, "Oh, that negro over there. Oh, that colored person right there." You know what I mean? Like times are different. There is still obviously racism. Like I've had my fair share of that You feel me? It's not It's not gone. But again, a part of me wonders how much of that is just telling the kid, don't go in that room.

25:06Don't say these bad words. Don't don't be this. Don't be that. There's always going to be that faction of people that's like, "Fuck you. I'mma do it anyways. them all." So, I don't know. I don't know why I have that reaction. I've really thought about it. The the closest answer I've been able to come up with is, you know what, if a white person says, "Nigga around me, even if it is in a friendly gesture, I think about it like, would you do this to just a random black person on the street?" Well, no. I would I I wouldn't do that. But I don't know them, you know, like that. Also, they could take it some type of way. It could actually escalate and turn into like a fight or, you know, uh they could have a weapon or, you know, they could they could whatever.

26:07They could start recording and start calling me racist. And I'm not even trying to be racist. that that's just and it's just like okay I guess again the closest I've been able to find if if you filter yourself for whatever reason it feels kind of like disrespect when you don't filter yourself around me but then it just again it's like a loop cuz it's like filter yourself. Don't say sucks. It's a bad word. Like, god damn it. Isn't that the same monster? Isn't that the same thing I was just talking about? Granted, I recognize that that word has a lot deeper meaning, but I still hold to my claim that words, they only have the meaning that they have, you know, And just

27:28Like I said, you could be like, "Oh, fuck." Or, "Oh, fuck." Like, you know what I mean? Like, those are two different like, "Okay, I like what I see." Or, "Okay, I'm upset about what I see." Or, "Okay, I'm caught off guard." Whatever. Those are two different ways to take the same word said in two different ways. So my is a lot different than You know what I mean? Like go get him. It's one of those. One of them. So goddamn I I don't want to be hypocritical about my beliefs because I I stand I I'm I'm very certain when it comes to me saying words are just words.

28:24We give them the meaning that we give them and there are really no bad words. like the whole profanity, cuss words, whatever, whatever you want to call them. Like, it's just like it's All that is coming straight out of your ass. I don't give a damn. You can go to hell. You know what I mean? Like, you best just can suck my dick. Like, that is all Like, I could have found a way to to say that very same thing with other words. And the the argument is, well, you should have that. You should have had a better vocabulary, I have a good vocabulary and it doesn't matter how astute I want to be while I'm studying the different languages. I can't keep going. I can't keep going. It doesn't matter if that's the word I want to use. That's the word I want to use. Like what's the difference between a crap and a or a snap? A shoot. What is the What's the difference? It's Yeah.

29:23Shout out to my my dad. He uh he was somebody that was very anti profanity. No bad words. And I always had to watch what I said around him. Not in like some bad way, but don't want to say a bad word, you know. So once I got to the age where I first started, I think I was in second grade when I first started like saying like like minor bad words that I knew. Bad words like ass and damn. And I remember the the the little girl that I was going with at the time as a as a 8-year-old. Remember one time on the playground, she overheard me saying like ass or it it was some something. She overheard me saying a bad word. And she like broke up with me.

30:23She like got all upset like like ran away or whatever. And I just remember thinking like, damn, lost I lost a good one right there. And then I swore off bad words. No more cuss words, curse words. They curse you. I'm cursed. I was cursed. I was cursed. So, I swear off in all of third grade, I didn't do anything. And I remember I I moved I was like in I was in the Netherlands in Europe or whatever the wherever the it is. I was in the Netherlands when I was in second grade. And then in third grade, I moved to Ohio. And I remember I first got there, first day I got on the bus, this fat, pasty looking white kid tried me up. For some reason, he said some He said some thing to me.

31:22And my first instinct, I remember cuz of the curse was to say some bad words. I don't remember what I wanted to say. I don't I be making that up. But I remember instead I just they made me to hit the hit the mic. I'm cursed even doing this But I just flicked them off. Put my middle finger up. That'll show him. And then I just remember he was like, "Okay, I could do that, too." And he just put both of his middle fingers up. I just like shrugged them off. But I remember thinking like like I I kind of broke my promise cuz I consider that too like I put up my middle finger. Your middle finger, you know, in China it's uh it's the the pinky finger.

32:20If you put your pinky finger up, that's ultimate disrespect. I don't even know if that shit's true. That's just what I heard growing up. I don't know if you heard that but don't do the pinky finger in China cuz that's like their middle finger. And our middle finger here is a big you. What's the one where you like you put your your arm up? I think that's like a like a older one. I've seen uh I think I saw it in that dodgeball movie. Remember being like, "What does that mean?" And my dad was just like, "Oh, well that's kind of like the middle finger. It just means you." But yeah, man. That that's where I was going. Shout out. Thanks, Dad. That's where I was going. Shout out to my dad, man. He held it down. He said he said, "No curse words." So, yeah, I had to I had to filter it out. Second grade, third grade, decided not to.

33:16Finally, like when I got to middle school, I was just like, "Fuck it. I'm letting it go." Just started just started unleashing all of the curses. I was like a wizard, bro. just cursing people and yeah, man. What the up, bro? Like, you just you were you a I don't know. You a a a preacher's daughter that finally made it to college and you just went wild and was like, "Fuck yeah. Getting wasted." Yeah, wasted. That's how it was with all them goddamn curses. them curses, man. Them cuss words, the bad ones. That's why when the teacher said sucks was a bad word. I'm think no. No, it's not. The is wrong with this I'll tell you some bad words.

34:13I can say sucks around my dad. That's how I know. I can say something sucks and my dad would be like, "Yeah, this this does suck." But I can't be like, "Man, this movie. I had to censor myself around him. And uh one thing that always puzzled me and I I really got to ask him this. I got to remember to ask him this is that he would say phrases that were so close to like cuss word phrases. Like instead of son of a he'd be like, "Ah, son of a biscuit." He misses his his exit or some Son of a biscuit. Okay. Why? Why? Why? What? Why? God dang it. Why did we come up with god dang it? Ah, shoot.

35:12Why does it Why? Why? Why does it have to be so close to the bad word? And if you notice people that don't like bad words, they still like to tiptoe right on it. Like, ah, So close to the curse. Gosh dang it. What the heck? Oh man. Son of a biscuit. I wonder why there's still there's still a tendency for for people to to go right up to that line, say things that are very close to it. You know what I mean? A son of a binge. Something you might have heard as a kid. And I just I truly don't get it because all we're doing is giving power.

36:16You drawing that line and tap dancing right next to it saying I didn't say it. Got upset but I didn't say it. Just like okay. Okay. Why does it matter? Why is it such a bad thing? Is it really a curse to you? Let's break it down. What what what does I I want to know like why why why not that word? Well, the the common argument is well, I just think there's there's better better words that you could say. Like out of out of everything that that you could say, why is something so vulgar? Well, then why say shoot? Shoot. Oh, you haven't heard shoot? Well, I don't like the way it makes me feel.

37:11Shoot feels like a bad word. It sucks. I'm getting in the curse territory. Why so close? Shoot sounds a little bit like And we don't tolerate that. Okay. Life is not a beach. That's That's too close. to life. Life is a You saying life is a beach. I know what you're trying to say. You're getting too close. How much power are we going to give noises? And it and it is hard because there there is the like the the the crossroads where where I actually have to reflect like I like I said when when a a white person says why don't why don't you like it then? It's just a word. It's just a word.

38:07It's the same argument. So it's just like damn. Is that how is that how they feel? They meaning the people that they have a very um dramatic aversion to uh cuss words and profanity. They don't they don't listen to music with it. They don't like to to hang out with people that use that type of language. They prefer not to watch any movies or shows with that language. In fact, they're upset that even even the most moderate lang uh moderate films have words like damn and hell in it. It's just like when when when can we go back to the days where we didn't we didn't use this type of language? We actually had kinder words to say. We had better language to use those people. those they I wonder I wonder if they have that same that same type of reaction that I have when I hear a white person say where it's like I actually I I I guess it it comes down to a lot of the

39:28Same type of argument like I just I just don't like it. I don't I just don't like it. It's like cuz I could be like, "Well, that's racist." Well, what if they don't say it in a racist way? Like a clearly not racist way. It's just like the white friend that that decided that they thought they could take to the next level and you had to like look at them like, "What the fuck?" It's like, "Bro, why'd you have to put me in this goddamn situation? Now I got to correct you or some like Who am I to correct? Who am I to tell somebody else what they can't say because of my feelings? But that's just one that again has been accepted. Have I been brainwashed? Maybe I don't know. Would a brainwashed person even be asking? Maybe I'm just like but it's not one of those things where I want to wake up and be like yes say it.

40:27Same everybody like I actually I still prefer you you just don't bro cuz I'm going to I'm going to look at you crazy. I'm I'm going to say something like probably like slick like I'm going to make some remark. I'm not one of those people like we're going to start fighting. Hey, bro. The you said? Like I'm start throw hands and like that. But it's just like I guess it's the same it's the same way that people people either run away or stand up to people that use profanity in their in their vicinity. How's that for vocabulary? People that they that use cuss words around them. They We're just going to go over here. Can Can we actually get a different table?

41:23We We We're We're We're We're kind of being distracted by the uh the vulgar language that's being used by this table next to us. I'm so sorry. Yes. I'm bringing you to the other side of the restaurant. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Or it's like, can can you can you keep it down? And again, it's like it's one of those things. What if you're not like me? What if you're just like me where you're not the type of person where you're going to sit here and throw hands? It's like I guess it it depends. I don't know, man. I don't know. I haven't been in that situation in a minute where it was in an intentionally disrespectful way, but that's not I would say that isn't as common anymore. It's more just like the ones where it's just like, "Hey, what's bro?

42:22Shut the up. Why are you talking like that?" Like, here's a mirror. You're white. Shut up. Act like it. But damn, man. Damn. There's so many contradictions in the way that I feel about everything else. But that's it's like one of those things where like two things that are the u the opposite of each other can still be true. I think it's called like cognitive dis dissonance or some like that where it's just like I know that they contradict each other but I still believe in both of them like for for me to say it's like you're white like like stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop using that that word stop talking like that stop acting like this that's basically me implying that well there's a way to act as a white person like being like there there's a way to talk as a white person.

43:29It's just like okay, let's flip it. You don't act black enough. It's like what what is acting black? What does that mean? You know what I mean? Like I would start breaking that down immediately. Like what what do you mean not black enough? What so what what is what is black to you? How do you define black? like I would I would start going down and then I'm trying to think because there isn't an opposite like an equal and opposite word that could replace that where it's just like I I guess I just I I haven't been in that situation so it's hard to put myself in that situation admittedly. All right, let's let's just say it's uh let's say it's Wigger. Let's say it's Wiggler. I can't say Wiggler.

44:25I'm not allowed. Would I be more inclined to say it? Like I can't I can't say it. Oh. Oh, really? I I can't say it. Would I be one of those? Would it be And then especially again like it's in music. Wiggle wiggle wiggle. Can't don't believe me. Just watch whatever the Like it's got you got wigger in it. My wig my wig. You feel me? Like you got you got all of this these music. You got all of these musicians putting wigger in their their song. But I got to take a pause. Like I I'm really trying to put myself in the situation where it's just like you're not allowed because you're not white or you because you're black. You have to talk black, man. Be black. Stop uh stop coming over here.

45:20I won't say You don't say we're good. We cool. We good. We'll stay on our own our own territory. Like what? Again, there's so many contradictions where it's like, you know, I stand by what I said. I feel how I feel. It is what it is. Like, I got to come to terms with that. Like, I still like it's a natural, you know what I mean? Like, it's a natural the like a natural like a physical thing. Is that brainwash? Is that something where it's like it's just been instilled in me like all my life because I've had racial encounters? Like there's all these different ways I could actually justify that, but at the end of the day, it's the same thing as somebody having some sort of negative reaction to me being like, "Ah, Oh shit." Or thinking it's weird and be like, "Man, you done lost your damn mind." Somebody might look at me say that to my kid and be like, it's like my my my my daughter said that the other day.

46:21My my daughter said the other day where I I said, "Man, you better better tighten your ass up or you better lose that damn attitude." I said some like that. I think it was like, "You better lose that damn attitude." I've been having to say that one a lot recently to her. Can I I know what I've been teaching, so it must be these these damn schools. And she she's got me like wrapped around her finger a few times like like she got me and she can't never know that cuz I'm trying to I be trying to play it off. I was like what's wrong baby? Like what what what's h like like you just did like you know what I mean? I'm sitting here justifying like you just caught an attitude. Like what's going You just said a bad word to me. What? What? I said a bad You said a bad word. I said, "Lose your damn attitude." She's like, "Yeah.

47:23Fuck." And again, in the moment, she had me. I was done. Melted. Gone. Like, I'm sorry. I still try to explain how I feel about words. And I even tried to tell her, I was like, "Baby, like if I I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. Like, if I wanted to hurt your feelings, I could say that without quote unquote bad words. Like I could find other words to hurt your feelings. You know what I mean? Like again, like I understand not liking the idea of somebody trying to insult you, regardless of what words they use to do that. The fact that you are trying to insult me, the fact that you were trying to hurt my feelings, the fact that whatever. I understand that. But you're telling me like you probably still would have got your feelings hurt if I was just like, man, lose your attitude. It's just the reaction, man. Lose your damn attitude. Like, it's just I don't know. Like, it just if it if rolls better off the tongue, whatever the like, again, you could rationalize it however.

48:21Damn. Damn. And you done lost your damn mind. Is it Is it that deep? But again, there would be people that would hear me say that or hear me hears me say that right now just like you say what I want to teach I want to teach them different because I can sit here and say, "Hey, well, don't don't cuss at me." And I I actually I remember there was uh there was somebody I knew growing up where that's that was the rule that his mom had. His mom was German and they were allowed to cuss and they would they would be like they'll say it would be like right be like oh what the or some and I just like my first reaction again my dad did not tolerate that like I didn't slip up because I was that scared of slipping up.

49:26Like you don't up. Like even today now as as an adult, I will slip up sometimes. Um, and I'll be like, "Yeah, and this was I'm I'm sorry." And and I'll just like carry on like I don't I don't make it too much of a thing, but I apologize every single time as an immediate reaction. And like I feel my face get a little bit hot and I'm just like, "Fuck, I up." Like it still feels like I up with him. And that's honestly that's just a respect thing. Like I don't know. It's like, man, help bring me into the into the world. So, it's just like I just respect that still. You feel me? But when I saw this this dude growing up just say that right by his mom, like what? He was like, "Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm allowed to cuss. I just can't cuss at my mom." So, I could be like, "Oh, what the fuck?" That's something. But I can't be like, "Hey, you."

50:21And I just remember thinking like, damn, like I wish I had that Miles, you know what I mean? Like it sounded so cool and it sounded so grown. And honestly, you know what I mean? It's not like they overused it and they and that's that's one thing where it's like eventually hopefully you grow out of like I will admit like I overuse that as a child. Like I overuse cuss words which basically every child does that does you know use quote unquote bad words. It's like at first I guess because you are just learning it and and whatever. I feel like I've mastered that now where it's not every other word is is me just being like oh Maybe this one this this episode right here is probably got the the record high amount of and shits and in it. But yeah, man. I I use it like I use any other word. It's more like slang. It's more just like terms or phrases and like that.

51:19I that was the first thing that I thought of and like that and things like that and things of that nature and stuff like that. I don't know. There's other words to other words to use. There's other ways to say it, but that's just the way that my mind works and not in some vulgar way. Like, and luckily, I guess I I do think that there is a time and a place there is a time where you want to be professional. Obviously, you don't go to a professional be like, "Hey, what the up?" In a professional situation, you don't want to be like, "Hey, man. I know you're my boss, but this is cool." I don't know. like uh you would have a certain level of professionalism. And if you did start to let's say use cuss words or you start to be less professional, it's likely because they lowered the bar first. You kind of like meet the the bar that they have.

52:16So that that makes sense. You're getting paid. You have a job and all of that. You don't want to go to church and be like, "Fuck, I love this building." You know what I mean? You don't want to do that. Like yes, give me some Jesus. you know, you don't want to you don't want to say that in church. Like, you might you might offend some people. So, I I get the need for at least the ability to to be able to filter yourself when you need to. Should not constantly be that person that's like, "Yeah, and this Oh, oh, Sorry. Oh, damn. Damn. Oh, I'm so sorry. Like I'm just trying to be professional. I mean, Sorry. No, you don't you don't want to be that person. You want to be able to turn it off. You want to be able to basically control the words that are coming out of your mouth. A lot of the things that I say that, like I said, are just terms in terms of phrases and like that are things that I also can consciously filter off if I have to.

53:25But I know I'm in that situation where, hey, be a little bit more professional. Hey, you know, you're in church right now. Maybe you shouldn't be saying that. Hey, you're at the doctor's office. And um I mean, and even then, I And that's that's a that's another story, I guess, real quick. I remember when my daughter was being born, her mom was was like a movie, bro. We uh well first she was like 8 cm dilated or some like that. She was very far along before we actually made it to the hospital and by the time we got there she was in excruciating pain and you know what I mean wheelchair I'm like it's like a movie scene. She's like she's going to labor. They all know. And she just all oh And I I remember I remember feeling a bit embarrassed and then I remember thinking later about how embarrassed I was about how I was embarrassed because it's like why does it why does it matter?

54:32So it's just like filtering yourself is good but sometimes it's just like damn they are just words. She she was going through some I remember at the time my first reaction she's like okay like it's it's all right calm down. like it's it's okay, you know what I mean? Trying to control the situation and I didn't do it verbally thankfully. You know what I mean? Like it's like that was just my my gut reaction where I wasn't sitting here being like, "Hey, calm down. Don't be saying stuff like that." But to even have that reaction, the fact that my first reaction wasn't to to just let her be whatever she wanted to be in that moment. She was going through a a pain that I literally would never know. That I would never know. I couldn't imagine that Couldn't imagine. Hats off to every mother in the world cuz good lord we wouldn't be here without mothers and godamn if I would have been born a woman like bro there ain't no way I would have had no kids out of my kids got me up ain't no way I'm going through that push push

55:53Push it out or cut me open those are my options just you. How about that? How about that? But the fact that I even felt even a bit of embarrassment, a bit of like, "Oh god, like, okay, it's okay. Like, calm, calm down." You know what I mean? That wasn't her just in the store being like, "Man, Walmart or Target." You know what I mean? She wasn't just like going into hysterics and randomly cussing out random people. You know what I mean? She wasn't doing anything crazy. She was going into labor. She was in labor, not going yet. She was in labor. She was having a baby. And that was still my first reaction. It's like, damn. It's got a it's got a deep hold on me. It's got a deep hold on a lot of people. The power of what we've given words like the power we've given words rather like God, Godamn.

56:48I mean, there's some people right now me saying, "Goddamn, you said the the Lord's name in vain." Well, You know what? God forbid that that is something that truly does get your ass into hell. Hopefully, this God would know that I didn't mean it in a way where it's just like I don't even godamn like damn God. Wouldn't it be like damn God? I don't even I don't know. I don't whatever whatever these are just these are just noises and despite despite me finding contradictions in my way of thinking as far as the whole negative thing I still stand by that. I still stand by the fact that we allow ourselves to be offended by these things.

57:47We allow ourselves to react to these things. We decide and only we can decide to just move on past it. And I guess that's that's kind of what I'm trying to do with um with my kids is is, you know, tell them that words are just words. And that that will help if you ever get called a know-it-all or uh you're you're ugly or you're stupid or what whatever. Like kids just being and calling you names or honestly them being siblings and being to each other. So they didn't even have to go see other kids. They just talking to one another. Like I remember and and maybe this is a product of of me doing too much. maybe like I don't know like does any parent really know what the right route is. I don't know but it was like a year ago and my daughter's five so she was like four years old.

58:53I remember my son ended up coming to me. Dad, she called me a bad name. What did she call did the same thing with her? Well, go ahead and say it. It's the the B word. Wh What's What's the B word? I was like, yo, no you didn't. And a part of me would have be like, damn, she called him a Like, would you just go to take that No. But then I I did I did chuckle and then I got myself together. I just couldn't help it. It was funny. I like why would you call him that? And then well, he just and you know that started tuning that out. Well, we don't do that. And then this was like, but I guess that's the same rules that I would say.

59:51Let's not call each other names cuz that's the insult part. I'm calling you a It's like I haven't thankfully really been in a situation where one of them has been like a like something happened. Why did you He said a bad word or she said a bad word when they say was said oh Why'd you say that? I dropped something I didn't mean to. It's like a well It's like saying like oh I mean it's like oh dang it. Oh snap. Dag flap it. Shut up man. And they're just words. They're just words. Insults are bad regardless, right? And then even then it's just like take them with a grain of salt. Like at the end of the day, it's just like you want to be that ass And see, there I go using that word again. Like that's what that's what I would say to myself. You really want to be that ass that sits here and breaks down because somebody called you something like, you know what I mean?

1:00:49Like that's what you and and you could you could you could feel like posturing and getting angry and all that makes you look like a badass or that's different than like being like melting and be like, "Oh, you called me that. I'm I'm responding host like with hostility. I'm I'm good. Like what's up, bro?" Over words. Over words. I don't know. I don't know. Do you really want to be that ass that's getting getting all worked up over words? Somebody has control over your emotions. You're literally giving anybody control over you. It's just like like imagine if you were cursed. No pun intended. A curse word. Get it? No, never mind. Just going to be done. But you're cursed. you have these words, these sets of words, not just one, but multiple.

1:01:49If if you're really bad, you know, it depends how badly cursed you you are. Excuse me. But if you're if you're really badly cursed, you're uh you're going to have these phrases, these words that will turn you into this angry monster that won't stop until all the rage has been depleted from your body. You would you would hate that curse. You'd be like, "Damn, what did I do? What did I do to deserve this type of life?" That's what we are selectively allowing ourselves to do. Allowing ourselves to be triggered by words, by ideas, by beliefs that are different from ours, but in particular with bad words, cuss words, profanity, curse words.

1:02:51The real curse is that people allow themselves to be changed by that. And that could mean a whole bunch of different things. Like I said, you go to a different side of the restaurant. You you have to speak. And do you mind not saying that? Like that's that's putting so much power into these words that are curses. Is that why it's a curse? Is that why you say they're curse words? is because that's the curse. Anytime you hear it, you just everything you stop like, God, I just you just can't help but focus on it. Anything that has it, you can't watch. Anything that has it in in in its music, you can't listen to, you can't enjoy. There's no there's no finer things that has that. You have to be cursed for all time to be offended by those words. And you'll never subjugate yourself to any artistic piece of work, any creative piece of art that could be enjoyed if I didn't have a problem with these words.

1:03:58And I did just look at them as another way to describe our feelings and emote the different emotions that we have. It's just something that we can do. Say bug, duck, whatever. It's just a word, man. It's just a word. So what makes cuss words bad? We do. We make them bad. We as the collective, we we as the delusional species that thinks the words that we make up can be bad. We made them up. We made these up. We make them bad.