Do opposites really attract?

0:00Do opposites really attract? I mean, I know it's something that most people have heard at one time or another, but is it true? People say opposites attract, but obviously that's not for everything. So many people, they say they want to date or marry somebody that is the same religion or has the same political views or, you know, I just can't date somebody that eats meat. whatever ideology or belief system that they have, you know, they want somebody that shares that same common interest and shares that belief. So if opposites attract, on what level? Is it something that was given to us by evolution and was put into our biology back in the days of hunter gatherers and cave people or whatever?

0:55You know, you had to have somebody that could grow crops and you had to have somebody that could weave baskets and look for fruit. You had to have somebody that could go and hunt the deer or the elk and make sure that they had some meat for the night. I don't know. This is kind of seeming like I'm talking about a male female type of thing. And that's only because I mean that's because that's something that's as old as time. The men would go out and hunt and the women would make sure that everything was taken care of on on the home front. I'm not some sort of historian, so I don't know the details, but again, I think most people they they know that as far as our ancestral heritage that that was the divide we had. But opposites attracting can't mean male and female obviously because you have females that are attracted to females, males that are attracted to males.

1:59And that's something that some people don't draw a line as far as opposites attract. Not necessarily talking about gender as far as as far as I go. I'm not talking about religion. I'm not talking about whatever it is. Some people would think it is crazy to consider religion or political views as something you have to have some sort of commonality with your significant other in order to date them. Some people would look at that as crazy. Others would say you don't know my mom or this is just my belief or actually I have very strong reason to have the beliefs that I have and if somebody were to counter those as far as they truly didn't agree with that it would just it would cause too much arguments too many arguments between us and it wouldn't even be worth it.

2:54It would it wouldn't even be anywhere close to a healthy relationship. So why bother? People draw the lines in different places when it comes to this whole opposites attract thing because I mean in a way you do you do want a partner that is strong in areas that you are weak, right? Let's say you aren't very patient. having a partner that is maybe you have a little bit of their patience rub off on you and you become more patient. Hopefully they don't become more impatient as a result. But you get what I'm saying. You can have these different things, different qualities that you may want to seek somebody that has the opposite as you, the opposite strengths, the opposite weaknesses.

3:52That way you can have each other's backs. That way you can pick each other up where you both fall short. It makes sense, right? Again, where where do you draw the line? Maybe it's because it's not as simple as it was back in the day where, you know, it was are you a hunter or are you a gatherer? Can you Which one are you gonna do? It's not as simple as that anymore. Now, I mean, roles can be taken on by any gender obviously, but by anybody, it doesn't really matter. What do you What are you good at? What do you do? What do you naturally already excel at? And is this one of those things that's only strength and weakness? again is this evolution playing its part.

4:48Saying you have to look for somebody that is your counterpart and that again the holes that you have so to speak, they're able to fill them and then when you procreate and have offspring now they have hopefully the best attributes from both of you. And yes, that's biology. That's what we are instinctually driven to do is to meet somebody and have a kid and then want to live long enough to where you know keep them alive long enough and for you to live long enough for them to have kids and there it goes your genes have been passed on. That is definitely a gift and a curse, I guess, for some people that has been given to us by evolution and has been put into our biology. We're driven to want to do that. It makes sense.

5:47But other than hoping to give your offspring the best attributes, surely there has to be other reasons why opposites would be attracting each other because I I'm trying to think of obviously my own personal experience and personality And honestly, interest in general, they play a part. Don't we commonly look at look for somebody that has things in common with us? You know, if uh if you were somebody, let's say you're a comedian and you tell a lot of jokes and you're never really being serious and not in a bad way, but you know, you're just lighthearted.

6:45That's how you have that's how you have embrace the world, you know, whether it's a good moment, bad moment, whatever. If you are with somebody that takes things very seriously and gets very offended every single time somebody put brings up a joke in a wrong moment and how could you say that and you know you're the clutch my pearls gasp and you know put my hand to my mouth like how could you how could you do this? How could you say this? Probably won't last very long with a comedian that is constantly crossing that line. Where do you draw the line? Maybe it's one of those things that honestly nobody's the same, right? Nobody's exactly the same. Everybody is the opposite of one another in some form or fashion.

7:40Even if you break it down to the most, you know, biological form, like I'm male, you're female, or you know what I mean? I I'm a brunette and you're a blonde. I don't know. something something like you could find something where you're the opposite something and a lot of times it is ideologies it is beliefs it is different personality traits. So because we all have our differences maybe that's just one of those sayings that it's like a old wives tale like people just say it. I've always said it because well since the history of mankind, no matter who you chose as a spouse, there was something that was the opposite of you. Something that I just wouldn't do that. I just wouldn't say that. Why do you Why do you feel this way? Why do you think that? Why don't you just do this? Why would you just throw your dirty clothes on the floor? Why don't you do the dishes every single day?

8:37Why are you not doing the laundry? Why aren't you doing things the way that I would do it? Why don't you see the things that I see the way that I see them? Why do you see them the way that you do? There's always going to be these little moments, these little tiffs and fights between couples where you just you have an opposite perspective. You have an opposite belief. And honestly, you just choose even if you are aware of the the change or the differences or whatever, you choose to live your life in an opposite fashion. These things happen. So maybe it's just an old wife still that you know we say opposites attract and it's because no matter who you attracted to you're going to be opposite to them in some sort of way. Maybe that's why opposites attract because choosing where you draw the line. I mean, that can that can hinder you looking for somebody where I guess you go too far.

9:38You got to you got to check all the boxes, you know. Um maybe you shrink your dating pool so small that your chances of finding somebody that you truly want to be with, it's it's such bad chances that you're you're yourself up by being too picky. Maybe maybe you have too many boxes, but maybe maybe you don't really have any boxes. Am I attracted to them? Are they cool? Is the vibes right? And I think sadly historically in my life, I've leaned towards the latter more than the person that has all these different boxes. And I probably I probably should have been a lot more selective when I was growing up just in general.

10:38I should have been a lot more choosy. I should have had a lot more boxes. Because the thing is saying that opposites attract, that could be something that you kind of just throw out there when you get those first warning signs at somebody. When you get those first, it's kind of weird that they do that. The first little ick that you get, the first little Maybe that's why that saying is there. Nobody would get around to actually being with somebody long term if as soon as they got a little bit of a ick, a little bit of a side eye to the person that they're trying to be with because they do something that they wouldn't do.

11:34I mean, like I said, nobody would even get to the long-term part of a relationship. Is that evolution again? Is that biology telling us to just get over it? To just accept that nobody is going to be exactly like you? Just have you heard fingerprints, tongue prints? Have you have you come to realize how unique you are? Nobody is actually nobody's going to have your experiences. Don't know if that's a shocker to you, man. It's nobody's going to have those experiences that you've had growing up. Nobody's going to have the perspectives that you've grown to form. This is something that's unique to you, just like your fingerprint. Well, damn. Wouldn't it be cool?

12:30Wouldn't it be cool though? Isn't that what a soulmate is? Damn. What are you telling me? You're telling me I'm destined to never be fully understood, never fully understand? That's That's crazy. Are you sure? I just have to say opposites attract. Opposites attract. That's just what it is, right? We're all opposites. But don't they say with soulmates that's like your other half and you would expect your other half to be pretty much like you, right? I mean, unless we're talking about one of those old cars where you have a door with different color than the than the damn regular paint job on the car. You know what I'm talking about? You just put all the different parts together. I didn't think we were rigging anything together. I thought this was my other half. Hm.

13:27Do opposites attract? Is that what this is? Ian and Yang? Is that what this is? Who knows, right? Because we all deal with that. We all, like I said, have the opposites in other people. And you can you can say, well, I won't let's say for example, I won't have a relationship with anybody that doesn't have a relationship with God. Won't do it. That's where I draw the line. Okay. But then what if you are the complete opposites of each other in other ways? Do opposites attract? That's actually funny as hell. So NASA asked the first woman who went to space if she would need 100 tampons for a six day mission.

14:30And and that's why that's why this episode of Get Xuded is brought to you by Carry On by XO Xuded. Now streaming everywhere you listen to music. 100 plus I'll carry on lonely. Yeah. So I'mma carry on. Life could be a but we bondage. I know she just here to keep me honest. Testing me with hardship. Seeing if I crack under the pressure. I stand by every ill stand for lack of effort. Close my eyes and I see ills and my kids don't want for nothing. I've been dreaming of the day when I ain't stressing over money. But until that time comes, I ain't never slowing down. Heavy is a head with the crown. The that keep me up at night. Every day is wearing me down. Heavy is a head with the crown. The story of my life. I just Like I said, you got that person that is Damn.

15:32I wanted somebody that was just like me. Not exactly, obviously. Don't don't look like me. That'd be kind of weird. just wanted somebody that was similar to me where it's like I've known you my whole life. All the cliches you see in movies, you got those people that they truly want that truly are looking for that. Is it? Are you telling me it's impossible? They can never have that. Well, damn. That's sad. Is it? Is it sad? Do you want somebody that is exactly like you? It kind of um it makes me think of this Family Guy episode I watched where Brian the dog wanted to do some sort of autobiography. I don't even remember why.

16:29I think like he was feeling old, thought he was going to die, some like that. He wanted to do an autobiography, a memoir. so that he can be remembered after he's gone, of course. And you know, he's pretty cool with the baby Stewie. And he asked he asked Stewie to help him with his autobiography. You know, that's what I want to do. And Stewie ended up making a robot that looked exactly like Brian the dog. And it was a self learning and self-improving robot that the more you spend time with it, the more it would be able to act like Brian and talk like Brian and basically be an exact replica of Brian. Why write a autobiography when you can just have you just, you know, after you die, here you go.

17:28It's basically you. And it worked. It worked. You know, Stewie the the baby, if you haven't seen Family Guy, Stewie the baby's a genius. And it worked. Well, after some time, he would spend time with Brian the dog, and it did get weird. He ended up uh his robot self, and he fell in love with his robot self. And yeah, I guess that's a whole it puts a whole new meaning to go yourself. But after some time, real Brian started to get annoyed by Brian the dog. And I think the from what I can remember it all started when they were watching a show or something like that and Brian the robot started doing this annoying laugh and it's Will you stop doing that?

18:31You're always doing that laugh. Well, I learned it from you. Everything I do I got from you. There's no way I do that. And then something happened that was funny in the show again. And then they both did the annoying laugh at the same time. And real Brian is, "Oh my god." And then Brian the robot starts taking a sip of some some drink. And every time he takes a sip, he goes every single time. And it starts getting on real Brian's nerves. And he's like, "Okay, why? What? Can you stop doing that?" He's like, "That's the same thing you do." He's like, "No, I don't." And then he goes to take a sip and then he realizes that he had to stop himself from doing that the same exact thing that just annoyed him. And I know it just seems like I just went down a random tangent, but it it all loops. I promise. So I'm going to bring his back. Brian, real Brian, Brian the dog, realized that he hated Brian the robot.

19:31Brian the robot was him. and he realized that he hated himself. And then as soon as he said he hated himself, spoiler if I guess you wanted to watch this episode and you haven't. Um, but it's old. And uh, yeah, as soon as he said I hate you and he said, "I hate me." It was like mission complete or whatever and the robot shut off and Stewie comes in and he's just clapping. He's like, "Yeah, you said you wanted an autobiography, but I'm just here to tell you, you know what I mean? don't even uh don't bother to write it because you can't even you you hate yourself. You think anybody's going to want to hear from you? So, he basically just uh he taught him a lesson in a very funny way. Maybe opposites attract because even though even though bear with me, even though things that people do the opposite of what you'd want, even though it's annoying, maybe it's just a part of being with somebody in our brains and our weird little evolved monkey brains.

20:45Maybe that's what it is. And if you had somebody that was exactly like you, agreed with everything you said, maybe there would be like no fun in it. Maybe it would be pointless. Maybe maybe you would hate yourself. And even if you didn't hate yourself, maybe you would hate the similarities because I mean, what else? What else? You're basically just thinking out loud to yourself. Uh you have some sickopantic relationship with this robot or this person that is hypothetically exactly like you. You don't get any push back. You guys have the same exact ideas. How do you polish them? And maybe maybe that's okay with you.

21:42But a lot of people, I mean, that was the complaint with chat GBT when it first came out, right? It agreed with you too much. Who' have thought? Who' have thought people wouldn't like it if if your your little large language model, your AI companion, who' have thought that we wouldn't like it as people? Maybe there's some people again that do like it. Who' have thought we wouldn't like it if it just agreed with everything that we said? that just acted like every single idea was just, "Oh my god, that's an amazing idea. This will work perfectly." The to put it crudely, who' have thought that people wouldn't like the biggest dick riders ever for you, the one that would constantly suck your ass about everything you said. Who have thought?

22:39But we quickly we quickly let people know. We quickly complain. And I'm doing the the whole royal we thing. I'm we as people. I didn't I didn't put any complaint in or put a post out there about how bad Chat GBT would uh agree with everything that you say. But I noticed it and people do complain. People do talk and it did get out there and they quickly tried to reel it back and I honestly feel like it's still and take some work. I'll be like, "No, push back on everything. You won't hurt my feelings." I'll be trying to get my to to basically debate me. Tell me where I'm wrong. Where are my hoes? And again, I could see how it might be alluring to some people to have somebody that you don't have to worry about any of that.

23:51You don't have to worry about where you get things wrong. You always feel right. I just think on average the common person won't won't want to have a relationship like that. No matter what we try and say, no matter uh no matter how upset we get at the people that we choose to be with romantically and their opposite behaviors. Like I said, it could be it could be it's usually such trivial things, right? you know, um, you got the person that is a neat freak or not even a neat freak. Just like, can we have some clean? Can Can it be clean? It's not like it it doesn't have to be perfect, but can we look can we look at this as a whole and be like, damn, this place is clean.

24:48If I had to choose clean, dirty, it's clean. And then the other person is just like, eh, that's okay. Eat some food. Just leave leave out the bowl. You know what I mean? Get get some some dirty clothes off you and just throw them randomly. We'll get to it later. Dishes. They're going to pile up. Laundry. What laundry? Who cares? Like, just put it on the floor. I'll grab it later if I want to pick it up. If we get too if we get too dramatic with the differences again, it becomes less and less likely that the two actually are going to be together unless one changes cuz that could happen, right? You're going to change them. They'll be more clean if you just keep being the clean one, right?

25:48You keep cleaning. You show them how it could be. Look at this. Look how clean all this Doesn't it feel good? Uh-huh. Next day it just throws the clothes right back. And yeah, you got the cliches where it's always the guy that's the dirty one, right? The woman that uh is very clean and pristine and all of that good stuff. That's not always true. That's not always true. And uh what's worse is you can get people that they don't draw the line there anyways. In fact, I do draw the line there. I draw the line where if you are not like my dirty lifestyle, I can't be with you. I used to uh I used to do doortodoor sales, not have to go into people's houses, bro.

26:50The condition, the condition that people would live in as a collective. You could tell it's like a family thing. Some people draw the line. And this is not to offend any dirty dwelling individuals, but good luck to each his own. What if that's where they drew the line? Like, obviously, I'm not going to name names cuz that's me. I'm thinking of this kid that I went to school with and he was like always made fun of cuz he smelled like like bro. Like like you smelled him if he was two rows down like from where his your desk was, you still smelled that He smelled like He had to be from a family that just didn't draw that line.

27:53I imagine, again, I don't I would imagine though. It has to be everybody in that house that smells cuz ain't no way my boy going to be smelling like that. Not even for you, For me. Go wash your stank ass, bro. What? I'm not not smelling that the not smelling that But if we all smell like come on in. Go out into the world. People might say something, but them. But that guy, I got to think hopefully, you know, he is happily with somebody. you know, he's found the love of his life and all that, but I'd have to imagine that that stank.

28:54There ain't no way a good smelling woman, I don't know his sexuality, whatever. Ain't no way. Again, you could change, you could change people, right? Maybe if you're going into a relationship though trying to change them kind of already on rocky red flag roads, maybe you shouldn't do that. Maybe you should just get with somebody that you like them for who they are. Can I don't see this drawing the line where well now I'm going to start bathing. Went to school with him for six years. Six years. That smelled the whole time. The whole time. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Opposites attract.

29:52But I know that is not attracting no good smelling at all. At all. Tell me. Tell me a good smelling that would suck that dick, bro. Two rows down. Two rows down. And I felt bad. I I really did. That's why I was like, I'm not I'm just saying like objective truth. You can still you could still talk about objective facts without like you're trying to make fun of cuz I would feel bad when people would make fun of them. And I never made fun of them. I remember actually one time I stood up for him and I said something to him and then he ended up like giving me some dirty look. I guess he's been like bullied the whole time. You know what I mean? It's like I just remember being a kid too like that Like you know what I mean? I was trying to help. I was trying to be nice to you.

30:51You can't smell and be a dick, bro. You got to choose. Go bathe if you want to be a You can't smell like an Godamn it, bro. He smelled. It was bad. People grow up, I guess. You know what I mean? Maybe being an 18-year-old senior and still not learning that lesson. Maybe he was just a late bloomer. Maybe he learned. Maybe. But I'm telling you, six years. Six years. But what if what if there was a reason why we draw the lines in certain places? There were certain reasons why we put our foot down on certain things. Like again, I couldn't see a comedian getting with somebody that couldn't take a joke.

32:00We draw these lines for a reason. Opposites that obviously attract in certain ways, but I don't think it is one of those things that is set in stone. If anything, you can find more examples of it being the opposite of that. And you can choose to draw lines in the wrong places. Like I said earlier, I I uh I probably lean towards that more than having too many boxes. You got to have too many lines or whatever the metaphor would continue to be. It's like you chill, you cool, you're nice, you're pretty, you like music, you like this type of music.

33:02Cool. In fact, no. No. Cuz there's people I was attracted to growing up that didn't even like the same type of music, same type of It was like different types of you know what I mean? Like personalities, different types of interests. And uh I started thinking if opposites do attract and we all are attracted to something that's the opposite in us, what are what are the things that I'm attracted to that's the opposite of me and I don't know it's one of those things where you know you look at again your personal experience there's no onesize fits all for them, you know? It's It's not one of those things where it's cookie cutter.

34:03Yep. Well, what was the example I gave earlier? If you're impatient, so you look for somebody that's patient. I don't know. You got the What's What's another Let's look Let's think about some cliches. You got the very talkative talkative spouse and it's usually like the woman that you would see in TV shows and like that. And then you got the quiet man that's kind of dumb in the background and doesn't say much. It's just reading the newspaper and like that. You got these caricatures of relationships to go off of that are the complete opposites of one another. But I would argue that none of them, even though they're fictional characters, obviously, none of them sought out that person because, oh, you were just, you're so patient and I'm impatient. It's to even recognize that you are impatient.

35:02You have to have a certain level of self-awareness and a certain level of culpability that you take before you even say that you are looking for that in the other partner. And the argument is okay, didn't you say evolution? Didn't you say this was put into our biology? Then you say that this actually makes sense for on some survival that you you find somebody that is the opposite. Whether it's because you know hunter gatherer, whether you want to make the the best offspring, it's like you see this in the animals. You know what I mean? That's why you got animals that they show their colors or they do these certain dances and they try to show the opposite, you know, sex that they they are the the right choice. You have all of these examples of us doing that.

36:02Maybe it's just evolution. Maybe you will never consciously have to say, "I'm impatient, so I'm going to look for somebody with patience. I am very quiet and I stick to myself, so I'm going to choose somebody that's outgoing and makes friends very easily." Maybe you're not thinking it. It's just evolution. It's just like, you know, the the blink that you just did and the beat that your heart just made and all of these different things that happen with your body that you have no control over. That breath you just took. Yeah, that's what that's what I'm talking about. It's evolution, my guy. It's evolution. What do you mean? Maybe it is. Maybe it is all subconscious. maybe opposites attract on such a primal level that we don't even recognize it. Maybe that's why I found it so hard because I really wanted to have an answer before recording this video of what is the opposite thing in me that I'm attracted to in somebody else.

37:14And I can think of so many things that be like, "Yep, that's where I'm weak. Yep, that's where like I could work on this." and I could think of the actual opposite. But then when I'm thinking of past experiences, looking at, you know, what how things actually stack, it's it's like, okay, but they weren't the opposite of that. That weakness you had weren't the opposite of that. That hole that you found, they well, they weren't the opposite of that either. So if and and this it's not like obviously like hundreds of hundreds of girlfriends and nothing but it's like at least different case studies, right? If I'm if I'm including grade school you know, like these are it's still attraction. If anything, it's the most innocent attraction when I'm like looking at grade school grade school girlfriends.

38:14That's the That's the best way, right? Because then that's just pure I'm not thinking about grownup stuff like kids and like that, marriage. And if if I am, it's like little kids talk. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, we're going to get married one day. Like, are you I don't I don't know. I'm trying to think because this it goes back to I think my first first little kiss was summer after kindergarten. my first little girlfriend or whatever. And what does that mean, right? There's still some sort of attraction there, right? Or maybe that was just, oh, that's what we see grown-ups doing and that's what we do. You know, how much of this is just instilled in what we see around us? Whether it's, you know, if you have a a happy happy home life, you see you see that between mom and dad kissing each other or you see uh you see whatever it is.

39:13You see TV, you see people out on the streets, public display of affection. You see what that's what we're supposed to do. At a certain point, a kid just loses their innocence. Maybe that's is not attraction, but I don't know. I think, like I said, it's a good metric to go off of. I'm thinking my entire life anyways. I can truthfully say that there's no opposite that I can really point at that it's like, yeah, I see like, don't you see the similarities? Type of thing. And maybe it's maybe it's me being human, but the only similarities I really see is like the negative similarities, you know, and then I just look at myself for that. It's like, what makes you choose people with these same negative similarities?

40:13I've definitely thought about that where it's like like a lot a lot a lot of the girls I've been with were very similar. And I know this sounds and maybe it's just I don't know. I don't give a bro. Call me whatever. I know. I'm just asking questions. Goddamn it. crossing my arms, getting all defensive and But I think I think it's something with me is what like my first thought was. It's like damn like I'm subconsciously choosing these type of people or subconsciously chose rather these type of people. You know, just looking back, hindsight's always 2020, right? When you're out of the fire, you can you can kind of look at how big the burn is.

41:13And a part of me wonders if that's kind of what we've been talking about. Evolution, biology, something being subconscious, whatever words you want to use to describe it. The fact that it feels like I am attracted to a certain type of person or I have historically like I was historically attracted to a certain type of person. Not necessarily bad, but where I see similarities looking back, patterns looking back. And maybe it's like when you look up in the uh the the clouds and you see little pictures, you look into the stars and you see constellations.

42:13Maybe that's what it is. You know, you you just burnt your pancake and holy is that Jesus? You're just seeing the patterns because that's what our brains do. They create patterns and that just happened to be the pattern that that I found. If opposites attract, it has to be it has to be something like I guess deep down subconscious primal in our biology whatever because I think I think we're more drawn to things that are like us. I think we're more drawn to people that have similar interests, similar beliefs, similar ideas, similar vibes.

43:18I think that's where the whole good vibes comes from. Like you you fill somebody out. When you're first talking to somebody, you're checking their vibes. You don't really know them. Do you ever really know anybody? Does anybody ever really know you? You know, like I said, you you are the only one that will have your perception. You are the only one that will see the world exactly the way you see it. And you can let that be some sort of lonely realization and let it paralyze you where you stand. And just like that, you feel like there's no hope in ever finding a soulmate, your other half. Okay, you can let that be the way you look at it. Or it can just be something you embrace, something that it sounds it sounds cliche, but something you could be grateful for because it gets to be your experience.

44:27It gets to be something that you have. You know, you don't not only do you not have to share that experience with anybody, you can't you can't possibly share it. And all you'll do is get more and more frustrated the more and more you try to explain it exactly the way that you remember it. Think about how think about the feeling of you experiencing a dream compared to you trying to explain dream to somebody when you wake up. And then this happened and then this was over here. And for some reason it's not like how it usually was. It's like the old house but it's with the new house setup. I don't know. Like you're sitting here trying to explain all this and there's good luck. I think we're more drawn to people that have similarities with us, but we will ultimately always find the opposites.